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Commuting

Commuting sucks. There. I said it.

Now, I don’t know about you folks, but it takes me more than an hour to get to work in the morning. 1 bus and 2 trains. A lot of standing around, a lot of waiting, and a lot of my life wasted trying to get to work where I spend a further 10 hours.

That is, according to my calculations, 12 hours of my day spent on work related do-dahs.

That is half of my 24-hours.

That is not cool.

However, my rant is short-ish lived. Our office is moving next weekend and that means I will only have to take one bus to work and my commute should be lopped by 20 minutes. Think of that…20 minutes less 2 times a day…

That equates to 9,400 hours a year (with the 28 days of vacation taken into account). Now, if in a day we have 1,440 minutes, then that means that by having my commute shortened by 20 minutes each way, I am saving myself 6.53 days of my life on commuting.

Can you believe that? 6.53 days of my life SAVED due to a shorter commute. That is ridiculous!

Suddenly, Monday mornings seem way less appealing…

No Internet

Luckily for you guys, I have had no internet for the past 2 weeks at home so I haven’t had to subject you to my brain. But my friends, I am back and tomorrow I will be so with a vengeance!

That is all.

Oh except I miss Katsou. And my Mom. And Tim Hortons. And 12 Yonge Street.

Now that is all.

They call me Pancake

They call me Pancake

Wikipedia

Is it wrong for me to say that I love wikipedia? In the words of Michael Scott

“Wikipedia is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.”

But it is great for more reasons than just that. Wikipedia is great when you need to know the gist of just about anything in a heartbeat. And while a lot of critics argue that the open-sourced collective site is flawed for the very reasons cited by Mr. Scott, others argue that due to a rigorous review panel of articles, the online material stays kosher and reputable…at least for the most part.

So why the heck am I writing about wikipedia? Because I am currently in the process of submitting a couple wikipedia entries of my own. Now this is no easy feat! That simple and easy readability that we take as such a luxury is actually a page of often times complex coding (at least to the relative newbie!!) which needs to be done perfectly in order to work to the liking of so many Wiki users.

Don’t worry, I will post my pages once they are finished so you can marvel over the size of my massive brain.  But that being said, I urge everyone to visit Wikipedia.org at least once a day to read the Random Daily facts. That was you can wow your friends with all the nifty random happenings of the world of Wikipedia.

Peace.

Nice One

I feel bad for everyone who is not my brother or I, mostly because my Mother is not your mother. My mother, for those of you who do not know, is the greatest person on earth and has taken in the majority of my friends at some point in time and has loved then as if they weren’t her children (which means loved them more than her children)

Today is my Mom’s birthday. She is one of those Mothers who gets no recognition in daily life but has lived and always will live for her kids. She is wonderful in every way and if you ever have the chance to ever grace her presence, consider yourself lucky because she is great and about 1000000 times cooler than me.

Anyhoo, on to our story of today. As I got older, I started to notice my mother’s little idiosyncrasies, and specifically when we would drive. Other than the fact that being behind the wheel while she was in the car was stressful because she would spend half the drive going “STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP….GEEZE Hailey!!!!” and I would say, lovingly, “Mom….I haven’t even turned on the car yet….”, driving with my mother always was, and still is entertaining.

There came a point in high school when I started to notice that every time someone cut my Mom off on the road or did anything to her that was less than pleasurable, she would extended her right hand, palm up and hand flared while exclaiming with a nod of the head and an agitated tone to her voice “Nice One A**hole….”

I always thought this as hilarious and I knew that if I said anything she would stop in a second. So instead I decided to tell everyone else instead. It became a mini cult following and erupted at camp…from table cheers to t-shirts, Lucia became famous. And as much as she hates it, I think she also secretly likes it because it is not us hating on her but rather us loving her for her Lucia like ways.

So on your birthday, Happy Birthday Mom. I hope you have a Nice One.

I’m very very sick. If I had to describe how sick I felt, I would use this photo. Infact, I WILL use this photo:

Feeling Sickly

Feeling Sickly

This photo is exactly how I feel. Cheap red stained lips, lying on the floor with chili all over my face…and then glorified by having the whole world (aka the 2 people who read my blog…thanks S&L) see it. Needless to say, being sick sucks.

I have recently skipped to the other side of the pond from Toronto, Ontario to London, UK. In my Toronto days, if I had been sick I would have thrown on an episode of Bud Abbott and Lou Costello and laughed my way to familiar sense of security.  That was my sick day routine.

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

Bud Abbott and Lou Costello

These two helped me through the worst of the worst. When I was sad or sick, they were always there to make me laugh. Well them and Blankiee, my first love and very best friend (ya so what if I have a blankiee and I’m 23? Do you really want to fight about it? Because I can and will turn you into puree for Katsou’s dinner)

Anyhoo, now that I am here in London and living in a decrepit closet that should be condemned (trust me, the only reason I don’t live in a cardboard box on the side of the road is because it rains all the time and I would rather have a Hairy Aubergine crawling on me as opposed to having everything soaking wet…) I am forced to choose between the 4 channels we get from a cord plugged into the back of our 10 year old tv with a Nokia charger hanging out of the cord to get reception. Yes my friends, I’m living the dream.

So what does all of this mean? It means I’m sick and I have no Bud and Lou….nothing to make me feel better. Ok, well I have Blankiee but its rendition of Who’s On First isn’t the best. Pray tell, what do you watch when you are sick and want to stay in bed all day? Who knows perhaps my Nokia Charger antenna will pick it up!

And yes, because I am sick I am cranky and that’s why I spent the better part of my post bitching…but in good news, tomorrow is my Mom’s birthday…perhaps a great day to start the Lucia files!

Hailey Wojcik

No, I’m not being vain.

Have you ever shown up to work or school…or worse, a social outing, only to discover someone is wearing the EXACT same outfit that you are? You curse your outfit twin, “WENCH!!!!” you scream (in your head) all the while smiling with your fake plastered Toddler and Tiaras face…

My face at the realization someone else has the same outfit...and name...as me

My face at the realization someone else has the same outfit...and name...as me

So yes I suppose I lied earlier. I am sorta vain because I, like so many of you out there…whether you admit it or not…have Googled myself. Well imagine my surprise when I discovered another HAILEY WOJCIK existed! Like WTF? How is that possible…talk about uncommon name becoming apparently common.

But you know what the worst part of this realization was? Hailey Wojcik #2 was waaaaaay more popular and famous than me. This forced me to draw a single and binding decision. I must find Osama Bin Laden and bring him to Mr. Barack Obama (or George W. Bush, I haven’t decided who will bring me more fame yet). This is the only way I can become a fame whore in my deadline of 14 hours.

This Hailey Wojcik is an indie singer from Michigan, USA and became widely famous when her video Dinosaur Bone was featured on Youtube. Now believe it or not…and those of you who know me will not…when this video was featured I had about 30 different people congratulate me on facebook and couldn’t believe I was a singer. This is unbelievable for 3 critical reasons:

Hailey Wojcik x 2

Hailey Wojcik x 2

1. Me singing sounds EXACTLY like someone hitting a burlap sack full of kittens with a hammer

2. We do not look a like.

3. I have a moustache. She does not.

Anyhoo, I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy that I am not the one and only Hailey Wojcik and the other one that exists is a much better singer than I.

So I ask YOU dear friends, have you ever googled yourself only to discover that you are not indeed a unique individual as you once believed? I mean, I’m sure there are even more HW’s floating around but my insides feel queasy (perhaps that is 8 cups of coffee I had today talking) at that thought so let’s not go there.

I’m sure Hailey Wojcik #2 is a lovely person but I can’t help but think “she stole my name and possibly my underpants”

"EVERYONE! STOP THE MADNESS!!"

"EVERYONE! STOP THE MADNESS!!"

I agree with Elvis.

Stop the madness!

But seriously folks. Elvis has come under fire for making sassy comments about the results of the Men’s Long Program at the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, BC. He argues (and I would agree) that Russian skater Evgeni Plushenko should have snatched the gold because he attempted and landed a quad. A QUAD PEOPLE!!!

Surya doing a casual BACKFLIP

Surya doing a casual BACKFLIP

That is big money. And the American skater who took Gold, Evan Lysacek, didn’t even land one let alone attempt it. Like PISHAW! Elvis is right, Plushy ol’ boy deserved the gold, therefore making him a 2 time gold medalist. It reminds me of the time French Skater Surya Bonaly (my personal favorite) landed a BACKFLIP….yes ladies and gents….a BACKFLIP…and she was DISQUALIFIED!!!! because women are not allowed to do backflips in competition.

…………………………….

What is the world of Figure Skating coming to I ask you? Let’s take it back old skool and get Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding back on the scene. At least when they pulled a stunt it was so bad ass that it commanded the attention of sports fans everywhere….not just losers like me.